iLikeBlue

I hate suspense.

I hate suspense. This is especially true of mundane suspense, as found in everyday conversations. True, dramatic suspense, like walking down a dark sewer tunnel, with only a flashlight, searching for a deadly alien mutant is less annoying because a) the situation warrants the effort of anticipation and b) these situations do not happen (often).

The more common scenario is the one that chaps my grits. For example: one of my bosses will send me an IM, “Hey … when you get a second can you come down to my office for a few minutes?”

In my mind this translates to “You are fired”

Then there is the always popular “Please come to the conference room”

This is equivalent to saying “You are going to be chewed out in front of other people.” or “You are fired”

My paranoia doesn’t end with the workday. Friends are always inadvertently stressing me out, “Can I tell you something?”

Is there something in my teeth?

“Guess what?”

…Um, that you hate me?

Unless we’re in a movie, just come right out and tell me what you want to say. It’s not worth the stress otherwise.